My Lovely Day Off
Everyone needs a ‘me day’ from time to time. Yesterday was mine. I was right looking forward to it.
It got off to a great start. For the first time in 6 weeks (!!), I finally felt well enough to go to the gym. It was SO nice to workout again and be back in my happy place.
Then, once home – I got to have a nice relaxing bubble bath. Blisss.
After lunch, I chilled out with my laptop. Writing always transports me to my other ‘happy place’, regardless of what I’m writing about.
Next, a little nap to round off the day before collecting my son from preschool.
What a great day off!!
Well, apart from a few things:
- I had to finish my gym workout early because I started feeling nauseous. I wasn’t ready to stop, but I had no choice but to listen to my body. The consequences of continuing my workout could have caused my ME to either crash or full-on relapse.
- I had to cut my bath short because I needed to wee. Bladder problems is common in POTS, including sudden urges to pee. And I didn’t really feel like getting back in the bath after already getting out.
- I had to lie down for half an hour before I could dry my hair because I felt light headed, dizzy and faint. This is common after a warm/hot bath with POTS.
After eating lunch that Pete had thankfully made for me (I didn’t really have much physical energy left by this point to make a sandwich) – I decided it was time to give my body a rest from physical activity. So, I put my feet up and settled down to a nice afternoon of writing.
Except …
- I was severely brain fogged and couldn’t concentrate/make sense of anything I’d written. Literally, trying to make my brain process anything felt like I was suffering with some sort of acute brain injury.
- I really wanted to write, so I tried to push through the fog. And failed.
- Ended up needing to lie down. And sleep. That was the ‘nap’ I mentioned earlier. It’s what happens when my brain and/or body simply can’t function anymore. When my battery is dead, my whole system shuts down.
- Then when I forced myself to wake up an hour later, the headache began. The one I often get that frequently becomes a full-on migraine. Thankfully, yesterday’s headache didn’t cross that line. It just did a little Can-Can, millimetres away from it, kicking my brain very painfully.
- Next, the sadness began, as I lay there thinking about how excited I’d been in the morning for the lovely day off I’d had planned.
And that’s the thing with myself and millions of others in my position: I might get a day off occasionally from the rollercoaster of everyday life … but I never get a day off from the thing I need a break from the most: chronic illness.
