What Would You Like For Christmas?
I can normally answer this question from Pete, my other half, pretty easily. There’s normally SOMETHING I’d like under the tree each year (shiny and pretty, ideally!) But this year is different.
This year is the first time I can’t think of anything. It’s not that I’m void of ideas … it’s just that my ideas aren’t anything you can wrap up with a pretty little bow. I guess after being sick for nearly six years, I should have seen this coming.
You see, I don’t want ‘things’ anymore. I just want experiences. I want more from life than M.E, POTS and in Pete’s case, chronic cancer has been giving us. I want to go places, see things, do stuff – in our own country and abroad. I want to travel; I want to take our son on a plane for our first family holiday in the sun. I want him to hear a foreign language and eat exotic food together. I want the three of us to laugh, play and explore; go to the zoo, hike up a mountain, camp, visit Lego land, Disney.
Basically, I’d like to break out of the chronic illness cage that constricts my family’s every movement. I’d like us to run free, feel the sun and wind in our faces, the sand between our toes, the mud underfoot on a rainy day, our leg muscles burning as we cycle uphill, breathe deeply, smile at each other knowingly and enjoy an energetic adventure of our own choosing. Together. The three of us. Not some variation where one of us is missing … or present but feeling too sick to participate.
But I guess there’s no gift box in the world that can hold a dream like that.
So, in the absence of any medical breakthroughs this year to make my dream come true – I will continue being forever grateful for the family I have and the things we ARE able to do. Because despite our lack of outbound adventures, we are happy just being together, and I am SO lucky to have them in my camp.
Over to you guys. What would YOU like for Christmas?