This weekend marks my 6 year anniversary of getting sick and never recovering.
It was Mother’s Day weekend in 2017 and my mum had travelled up to spend a long weekend with me. I lived in the city, so we had plenty of shopping, meals out, cocktails, and a trip to the theatre lined up.
I had been feeling pretty nauseous and exhausted in the days leading up to Mum’s visit, but I didn’t think much of it. I used to get like that sometimes – for many years in fact, and doctors could never figure out why. So I used to pop some anti-sickness pills and plod on until it passed. Except this time, it didn’t pass.
Mum arrived on the Friday, and I was desperate not to ruin our fun mother-daughter weekend with my shitty health. So I hid how grim I was feeling as best I could. I was popping the anti-sickness pills like smarties when Mum wasn’t looking, but this time – they just weren’t working. We had a couple of fancy cocktails as planned, except I drank mine with a side order of paracetamol, because I figured ‘fuck it – surely THIS combo will perk me up. Let the fun begin!’ (honestly, never take ‘get-well-quick’ advice from 2017 me )
I lasted Friday afternoon and most of Saturday. We DID have a good time thankfully, but by the Saturday night, we knew it must be serious because I turned down a free fillet steak and rioja. Like, who does that?! I’d never felt so ill in my life.
We had to cancel all our plans on the Sunday and spend the day at my flat instead. A couple of weeks later, the doctor signed me off work – and I never returned. And I never got better. In fact, I continued getting worse.
My health got a hell of a lot worse over the next few years (housebound, electric wheelchair and stairlift worse), before it eventually started to get better. I am eternally grateful for the improvements I’ve had in recent years – but better is still NOT the same as recovered. Very few people ever recover. I, like most, am still waiting.
This is M.E and POTS. Happy 6 year anniversary to my body, who has fought relentlessly during this time – and kept trying even when the rest of me couldn’t. I’m proud of you.
This isn’t my full story, far from it. To learn more about what happened to me, see My Story at https://chronicallycraptastic.com/my-story/