Oh dear, here we go …
I rather stupidly thought I’d gotten away with it. ‘It’ being our trip away to see friends. I actually coped really well while we were there; I mean yeah, I was dog tired in the mornings – but not fatigued, thankfully. And my energy picked up each day as the day went on.
Whether that was due to my body running on adrenaline, or not having to think about the endless ‘mental load’ of stuff that needs doing when I’m at home – or both … who knows (my money is on both). But it was great to feel almost ‘normal’ for a few days.
We got home on Wednesday, and amazingly I still felt pretty good on Thursday. That lulled me into a false sense of security, as I merrily went about my day getting stuff done. I really thought I’d ‘gotten away with it.’
But that’s the thing with M.E: just as you’re smiling up at the sun and thanking your lucky stars for how well your body has been managing recently – it sneaks up from behind and body slams you to the ground.
I sometimes forget that post exertional malaise (PEM – a flare up of M.E symptoms) can take up to 48 hours to kick in after doing an activity. Until it kicks me right in the face to remind me.
And the fatigue is definitely kicking me hard today. My body feels like a barrel of bricks, my emotional resilience is zero, I am sooooo tired despite having slept fine last night, and I am definitely struggling to move.
Welcome to the unwonderful world of M.E.
I’m reminded of those fairground rides where the controller says “scream if you wanna go faster!”
… my body would really like to go faster, but I haven’t got the energy or strength. And I can’t scream for the same reason.