With the festive season fast approaching and people’s social calendars filling up – I just realised I can’t remember the last time I went ‘out’ out. What I do know is … it’s been many many years years.
This is a common side effect of living with chronic illnesses ME and POTS.
It would be so nice – just for one night, to be able to get dolled up, go to the pub with friends, have a laugh, get a bit tipsy, and then maybe go on somewhere we can dance. You know, standing up – without feeling faint (something I’ll never take for granted again).
A night without limitations. A night where I can drink as much as I like of what I like, talk, listen and laugh without brain fog getting in the way of my ability to process information – and/or losing the ability to speak due to fatigue. A night where I’m not having to be constantly aware of my symptoms and whether I’m pushing my body too hard and setting myself up for a crash or relapse. A night where I’m not lightheaded, struggling with sensory overload, and exhausted to my very core. A night where I don’t have to clock watch and get home to bed before I cause any lasting damage to myself.
I haven’t done anything that wild in over 6 years. And I’m one of the lucky ones. Some people with M.E and/or POTS who become ill as children, never get to experience the camaraderie, music, relaxing fun atmosphere and all-round let-your-hair-down carefree banter and bliss of a night out with good friends.
So, to that end, I am eternally grateful I was able to experience social outings without limitations for many years before I became chronically ill.
But still. A night off for a night out would be really nice. I’d just like the opportunity to have a laugh and put the world to rights … instead of having more medication and putting myself to bed.
Anyone else with chronic illness also wishing Santa would grant them a night off for a night out?