When I was healthy, I had one or two bottles of ‘good’ wine put aside – for years on end – ready for an occasion where I felt ‘deserving’ of it, or like I’d ‘earned’ it.
Rarely did I ever declare myself worthy of the good stuff. I just kept knocking back my regular wine, as the ‘good’ bottles grew dusty … waiting for me to do something spectacular enough to warrant opening it.
Then, my world got smashed to smithereens by M.E and POTS.
I lost my career that I’d worked and studied so hard for, along with my ability to:
* Exercise – I loved the gym
* Socialise – I was such a social butterfly
* Live independently – me and Pete moved in sooner than planned because I couldn’t care for myself anymore
* Walk – I ended up needing an electric wheelchair
* Climb stairs – I ended up having a stairlift installed at home
* Talk – I could only manage 5 minutes of conversation once or twice an hour (if that)
* Listen – I was noise intolerant, which meant almost no TV, music or anything; just a silent existence.
… and a whole lot more.
The Road to Realisation
When I look at how far I’ve come, and how much better I am doing these days (‘better’ is not the same as ‘cured’, but I am definitely functioning on a much higher level than when I was Severe), I feel SO much gratitude and pride.
And I’ve realised something: if what I’ve been through these last 6 years isn’t spectacular enough to justify drinking the ‘good’ stuff – then honestly, what the fuck is?!
Drinking With M.E and/or POTS
SO many people with M.E and/or POTS can’t tolerate alcohol at all anymore. I’m therefore acutely aware of how lucky I am to still be able to enjoy a nice glass of wine.
Don’t get me wrong, alcohol does affect my chronic illness – of course it does. I’m fully aware that it raises my heart rate and makes my POTS flare up, whilst gently nudging and winking at my M.E to join in too. But if I stick to only one – or at a push, two – glasses of wine, the increase in my symptoms is (thankfully!) minor and manageable.
What I Know Now
The last six years has taught me how precious life is, and to value small joys. For me, wine is definitely a small joy.
… And that alone should be reason enough to celebrate with the ‘good’ stuff every damn time I fancy a glass. So, cheers! 🍷
Image: me in my pj’s, in bed, drinking the ‘good’ wine. Because I can 😊