Demand for silence
“… Don’t project your weird beliefs on others!”
This demand for me to silence myself formed part of a comment on Facebook in response to my recent post about joy and suffering (you might remember it better as the one about shit and rainbows 😊).
It took me by surprise at first, because honestly, I’ve been so lucky with how wonderful and supportive people have been since I started this blog a few years ago. And apart from this one person, I had a really great response to that post. The comments were largely from people who said they really appreciated reading it, and for others it simply made them smile. Which is fantastic. I love knowing when my writing brings even the tiniest rainbow to someone’s day.
A little fun
Anyways, once I’d resisted the urge to invite this person to ‘Like’ my page (purely for shits n giggles), I suddenly had a thought:
… I should write a post that projects my weird beliefs on the topic of … you guessed it … Projecting My Weird Beliefs.
Fun, right?!
So, let’s see now. Hmm. What other beliefs do I have? Oh, I know:
I believe in Karma, what you give is what you get returned
I believe you can’t appreciate real love until you’ve been burned
I believe the grass is no more greener on the other side
I believe you don’t know what you’ve got until you say goodbye
Ummm … hang on a minute … do I?
Shit. Do I really believe all that, or was I brainwashed by Savage Garden when they projected their weird beliefs on me in a song called ‘Affirmation’ back in 1999?
Fuck! What do I do now?!
I know; I will write them a stern letter demanding they keep their weird beliefs to themselves in future. Yeah! That’ll show em!!
… Then of course, they will see the error of their ways, apologise profusely, beg my forgiveness, and indeed – keep their weird beliefs to themselves in future … and I will be hailed a hero! Nay, a Legend! Nay, a motherfucking SAVIOUR!!!
I can see it now; there will be a ceremony and everything to celebrate my win. My face will be everywhere. I will go down in history as the woman who silenced Savage Garden.
… Either that, or my GP might suggest some new meds.
Voicing our differences
Thing is, it’s totally okay to disagree with me (just ask my husband – he’s turned it into an art form). Because, no-one agrees with each other about absolutely everything, and they’d be lying if they said they did. Difference in opinions are what make us unique and drives the world forward (or backward, in Donald Trump’s case). But it’s how you go about voicing those differences that, well … makes the difference.
In a nutshell, it’s better to say, “I disagree with X point you’ve made, because (insert reason). Therefore, have you considered Y?” This opens up the dialogue in a friendly way, and gives me the opportunity re-evaluate my beliefs and decide whether I want to change my mind or not.
… Whereas, getting one’s knickers in a knot and exclaiming, “… don’t project your weird beliefs on others!” – is just going to make me laugh and write a blog about it.
Why it’s important
So, let’s just take a moment to understand WHY I think projecting my apparently ‘weird’ beliefs on social media is important:
Many chronically ill people lose touch with friends and sometimes family after being unwell for a long time. This is because of the severe limitations our health places on us physically, cognitively, emotionally and socially, on top of a severe misunderstanding in society about how our condition(s) affects us. We can be perceived as simply unwilling and unreliable, when in fact, we are actually very willing and reliable people … trapped in highly unwilling and unreliable bodies.
As such, for many chronically ill people, social media is a much-needed lifeline to forming new links and friendships with people who ‘get it.’
Finding our ‘tribe’
Social media helps combat some of the isolation we experience by facilitating the creation of blogs and support groups alike, tailored to just about any medical condition or shared interest imaginable. In other words, social media has made it possible to find and engage with people from all over the world who know EXACTLY what it feels like to walk (or be unable to walk, as the case may be) in our shoes (well, slippers), and live with our conditions – in my case, ME and POTS. In other words … our ‘tribe.’
For many people with ME/POTS and other chronic illnesses, the utter relief of finding our ‘tribe’ can never be underestimated. To finally feel a sense of belonging, understanding, and something almost resembling ‘normality’ that a shared experience can bring – can feel truly uplifting, validating, and life-affirming.
But here’s the thing: how are you ever going to know if you’ve found your tribe if you don’t know what they stand for or believe in?
Well … you won’t.
Own it and embrace
So yeah, I use social media to project my weird beliefs on others. I will proudly and unapologetically take ownership of that shit, and so should every other person out there trying to form a supportive community – or tribe – of likeminded folk.
As such, I guess what I’m trying to say (in a rather long-winded rambling way) to that one Negative Nelly, is this: I see my ‘weird beliefs’. I embrace them. And now here I am again … projecting them.
Go me!
One more thing …
… Also, it pans out I believe approximately 90% of the same things as Savage Garden. And since it’s a rather catchy tune, I’m happy to overlook the remaining 10%.😜
