Concert!
I went to a concert! Me!! The girl with ME/POTS! For the first time since getting sick – over 8.5 years ago.
The Offspring is a rock band I have loved since I was a teenager and have waited patiently for THIRTY YEARS to see.
And, due to the unpredictable nature of my ME/POTS, the bands older age (albeit not ‘old’ old. I’d still happily start a secret family with the lead singer), and them living on the other side of the ocean … I may or may not ever get another chance to see them again.
This was my chance.
… Maybe my only chance.
Ticket gamble
Tickets went on sale over a year ago. Which makes sense, but did pose a problem for me. Because, how the fuck was I supposed to know in October 2024 how my health would be holding up in November 2025 – more than a year later?
Well, I didn’t. Which made buying these tickets one helluva gamble. And not just for me – but for my best friend too. I talked in my last post about navigating friendships with chronic illness, and how the right people will learn to adapt to changes in our plans like I’ve learned to adapt to the flare-ups that cause me to cancel those plans. And that’s all well and good.
… Until your plans cost £110 a ticket.
Fair to say, it takes a very special kind of friend indeed to spend that kind of cash in the hopes that I’ll be well enough on the day of the concert. Thankfully, Donna is that kind of special. We’d waited three decades to see The Offspring play Self-Esteem (our song and soundtrack to a misspent youth that will forever make us grin like idiots and think of each other, no matter where we are in the world or what shower of fresh hell we’re experiencing at the time). Also, Donna knew I would have to be experiencing a full-on ME relapse back to my Severe and housebound days to miss this opportunity.
But even without a relapse – it was still a gamble. Because, even if I could get there – it wouldn’t be much fun if I was in the midst of a nasty flare-up (a regular feature in my life).
I needed a ‘good’ day. And ideally, a miracle.
Danger zone
You see, even if I could magic up a ‘good day’ – I still wouldn’t have been out of the danger zone. There were other things I also needed to worry about – like my POTS.
POTS means I can’t stand up for long periods, and large queues in hot stuffy environments are usually game over for me. So, the mammoth queues to get into the concert could easily leave me destroyed on arrival. Could I then stand in the crowded arena for a further THREE HOURS to actually enjoy the show (including the support band) … without collapsing?! And then there’s the equally enormous queues for the toilets too – of which I would need to go several times, since I’d have to drink loads of water to keep my struggling autonomic nervous system as regulated as possible.
And what about sensory overload? How would I cope with such loud music for 3 hours when I can’t even cope with it for that long at home without turning the volume down? Earplugs. I MUST bring my earplugs. But even then, it wasn’t just the band to consider … it was the whole atmosphere. Like the jam-packed arena; how would I cope surrounded by thousands of excitable fans, when my own small family sends me into sensory overwhelm? And the crazy strobe lights? I’m normally fine with lights – but would they be one sensory step too far for my ME with everything else going on?
Would the stress of all the above completely suck what pathetic energy I have left to actually SEE The Offspring? Would it leave me lying on the ground somewhere outside the crowded arena, in floods of tears, because I desperately need to get some blood back up to my brain – whilst missing out on a band I’ve waited 30 years for?
For fucks sake, why couldn’t I just be ‘normal’ and not have all this shit to deal with?!
Everything seemed so hard and so uncertain. But this was my all-time favourite band, and I HAD to find a way.
… Until the way found me.
A little VIP magic
Standing tickets were sold out and they only had VIP tickets left. This was a huge blessing in disguise, as it removed the option of putting my health in a hopeless situation. I mean sure, VIP tickets were more expensive – but nothing too extortionate, thankfully. And they guaranteed us seats at the concert; what a lifesaver!
Still though. What about the standing queues to get in? And the queues for the toilets?
…. Not a problem! VIP tickets also guaranteed our own private entrance with zero queue. Oh, and a VIP bar – with seats and 2 free drinks. Oh, and toilets in that bar – with zero queueing – for the WHOLE NIGHT. It was the lifeline I so desperately needed. I was still worried about the sensory overload from the noise, but it was a MASSIVE relief to know I wouldn’t be queuing for anything and would be sat down the entire evening. And with my POTS well regulated from zero queuing, I felt hopeful I’d be okay with the noise.
I rested and paced as much as I could in the lead up. And thankfully, on the day of the concert … I was having a ‘good’ day. Hooray!
Happiness overload
The VIP treatment meant I sailed through the support band’s opening performance, and had plenty of spoons left when The Offspring came on and started playing. Talk about happiness overload!
I was fucking ecstatic. I couldn’t believe The Offspring were physically there, breathing the same air space as us, in the same building – let alone the same country. I needn’t have worried about the noise; my adrenaline-flooded body was making just as much noise from singing and cheering as the band were from playing.
‘I FUCKING LOVE YOU, THE OFFSPRING!!’
(Spot the totally shameless mega-fan. Donna was also excited – but unlike me – she hadn’t left her self-respect at the door. 😅)
Every single part of me, past and present, totally lit up. My teenage self was fucking hysterical – this was the BEST party EVER! My larger-than-life on the outside but shrunken-and-broken on the inside twenty-something self finally had something REAL to smile about. My happily-hard-working thirty-something self couldn’t resist yanking her head out of the study books for THIS! My housebound for 3 years with Severe ME self was bawling her eyes out – tears of pure joy; she thought she would never be well enough to listen to music again, let alone go see her favourite band play a massive arena! The exhausted, chronically ill (albeit massively improved) and permanently frazzled mother and wife of nowadays was about to explode; she finally got a break! A fucking BREAK! She got to let her hair down and go nuts with her best mate again, after all these years interrupted by illness, surgeries, living opposite ends of the world, children and general … life. And the music. Oh, the music. Songs I’ve been listening to for 30+ years and will NEVER get bored of.
The band were gorgeous and full of life and energy; they didn’t disappoint. I haven’t danced like such a fucking loon whilst sitting down in my whole life.
I honestly don’t remember the last time I felt so alive. So unburdened by life. So fucking carefree. So …
… Unrestricted.
Because, god knows this ME and POTS malarkey is incredibly restrictive.
This was a night off. From all of it. And it meant SO much.
Cherry on top
Later, once everything had gone quiet and the VIP bar was closing, we went to catch an Uber back to our Air Bnb. We got a bit lost trying to find said Uber – and ended up accidentally finding the band’s tour bus as it was leaving the arena.
… With The Offspring INSIDE IT. (Hello, fresh adrenaline rush!)
Omg, my teenage self was going to piss her pants like an overexcited puppy. Or maybe that was just my current self’s shoddy pelvic floor. Who knows. Anyways, young Emma had visions of being inside that bus, with the band – behaving very badly indeed. She was on her knees begging me to go running down the street after them, screaming ‘I love you, Dexter!!!’ (lead singer) in their wake.
(Way to play it cool, teenage self, way to play it cool.)
But instead, I just stood there and watched the bus drive off, massive grin on my face – happy in the knowledge that for one night only, I had managed to make every single version of myself – past and present – SO unbelievably happy.
… I nearly said, ‘the happiest I have ever felt in my life.’ But then I remembered I got married last year. That was a great day too. As was the birth of my son 7 years ago. But this night was definitely ‘up there;’ The Offspring are now officially in my list of Top 3 Favourite Lifetime Events.
… As for the order they go in?
WELL. I couldn’t POSSIBLY say. 😉
